I am so pwned

The 360 hit the office several days ago.


It didn’t take long before people started the trash talking. The throw-downs. The bravado. So far it’s all Halo 3 action, but it’s only a matter of time before I can be totally trashed in Gears of War, Call of Duty, Team Fortress… Heck, I’m sure I’ll even have my fair share of Portal geeks casting aspersions on my “cyber manhood” in sing-song computer voices. Where is my companion cube? No cake for YOU!

Truth is, I don’t have that kind of time. No really, I mean it! The workload around here has been pretty tight, with end-of-year deliverables being considered do-or-die. Mix that with the holidays, and such, and this is a very bad time of year for my game.

My game.

That almost sounds like I HAVE game. Which I don’t. Oh, I’ll admit it. I’m pretty out of it. I regularly provide some cover fire and comic relief at the little gatherings of friends. I get my ass handed to me online (when I ever deign to go online). I enjoy the ballyhoo and all the crazy frenzy that is a good head-to-head. I do revel on some boards, where the playing field has been leveled by handicaps like “no camping”, or “everybody has the same weapons” restrictions. Anything to reduce the need to rely on hard earned skills. You know: the kind that can only be gained from practice?

And that, my friends is the final death knell. I will not… nay, CANNOT muster the time it takes to master these skills. I swear. If my life were a bit different, perhaps I could go home and put in a couple of demoralizing hours being no-scoped by 14 year-olds. I’d endure the endless taunts and the corpse-humping (though I hear that’s going out of style). I’d muster through the “You suck SO BAD” and the disparaging sobriquets tossed my way as I stumble from game to game HOPING that they don’t realize it’s that same lame n00b again, and let me join. Oh yeah. I’d do it! I’d do it all.

If I had the time.

You see, I’m not afraid to pay my dues. I’m really not. ‘Cause now, it’s not only a point of pride. Now it’s not simply the grudging respect of my friends: Who, btw, since i’ve known them since they were all dorks like I was, really never can be but so holier-than-thou. It’s not even to get some meager standing in the online-community. Let’s face it. That’s a train that left the station with Tetris in 1985.

No. This time, it’s work.